Les 7 avantages du célibat

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Fraîchement larguée ou célibataire endurcie, vous craignez de finir vielle fille entourée d’un cinquantaine de chats ? Vous déprimez chaque année à l’approche de la Saint-Valentin ? Mais non voyons, célibataire ne rime pas forcément avec galère … Voici un petit tour d’horizon des joies du célibat pour vous remonter le moral et rendre jaloux les couples autour de vous !
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1) Vous êtes libre comme l’air

Regardez le bon côté des choses : être célibataire, c’est faire ce qui vous plait, avec qui vous voulez et à n’importe quel moment de la journée ! Prenons par exemple les repas. En vivant seule, vous restez le seul maître tout puissant du frigo et de ce que vous mangez, sans avoir à choisir des plats qui plaisent à Jules autant qu’à vous, à partager votre sacro-sainte tablette de chocolat, ou à vous attabler à heures fixes. Vous avez envie de grignoter tranquillement un petit sandwich fait maison devant la télé ou de faire appel à votre livreur Thaï préféré ? Rien ne vous en empêche ! Autre avantage du célibat : pas de permission de minuit ! Fini les comptes à rendre, les explications à donner, les heures à respecter, les sorties à programmer à l’avance et le téléphone qui sonne toutes les 5 minutes … Rien ne vaut un petit café après le boulot avec vos collègues ou une bonne sortie entre copines totalement improvisée jusqu’au bout de la nuit ! Le seul à prévenir serait à la limite votre fidèle compagnon à quatre pattes, soucieux de savoir s’il doit ou non vous attendre gentiment devant la porte …

 

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2) Vous pouvez vous laisser aller

Plus besoin d’être toujours au top ! Le célibat vous permet entre autres de se laisser aller chez soi de temps en temps, sans subir des réflexions désagréables du genre « t’aurais pu au moins te coiffer » ou « ça vient de toi cette odeur bizarre ? ». A vous la pilosité foisonnante pour vous tenir chaud en hiver, les chaussettes trouées, les cheveux gras et le pyjama difforme (bon, il ne faudrait quand même pas trop exagérer) ! L’amour rend aveugle dit-on pour rassurer les amoureux … Peut vous importe puisque vous n’avez à vous souciez du regard de personne entre les murs de votre petit cocon. Avouez, ça à quand même du bon de temps en temps non ?

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3) Vous épargnez votre compte en banque

En période de célibat, votre cœur se sent peut-être tout vide mais votre porte-monnaie lui, de s’en porte que mieux ! Ne plus avoir à se creuser les méninges pour trouver un beau cadeau à Noël, la Saint-Valentin, les anniversaires ou les fêtes, c’est autant d’argent économisé pour vos virées shopping (sans culpabiliser le moins du monde). Sans compter les sorties au resto, au cinéma, au théâtre, ou les vacances en amoureux ! Vivre « d’amour et d’eau fraîche », on veut bien, mais cette eau si précieuse on la trouve où au juste ? Pour nos amies célibataires, on préfère plutôt l’adage : « un homme de perdu, des sous de retrouvés » ! 

 

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4) Vous avez les pleins pouvoirs

Se coltiner le foot alors que votre série préférée est diffusée le même soir, très peu pour vous … Célibataire signifie aussi reine (ou roi) de la télécommande, et DJ 100% indépendante à la maison ! Plus rien ne vous empêche de repasser la même chanson en boucle en chantant à tue-tête, de regarder pour la énième fois le dernier DVD que votre copine vous a offert ou de passer la soirée à zapper au gré de vos envies. Elle est pas belle la vie ?

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5) Vous échappez aux compromis

Un célibataire ne partage ni sa penderie, ni son lit, ni sa salle de bain ! Vos 50 paires de chaussures et centaines de vêtements ? Vous avez toute la place pour les ranger. Votre collection de produits de beauté ? Les étagères entières vous appartiennent. Plus besoin non plus de suivre votre chéri à une de ses sorties ou de ses parties de sport en trainant la patte et en jouant la potiche de service, ou de sacrifier un week-end entre filles pour des vacances avec la belle famille. Et faire de la place au salon pour le meuble bancal de son arrière, arrière grand-mère ? Vous y échappez aussi. Sans partenaire, pas de concessions à faire !

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6) Vous dormez comme un bébé

Comme précisé précédemment, devenir célibataire vous permettra de profiter d’un lit rien que pour vous. Dormir à deux ne comporte pas que des avantages : les claques en pleine nuit, la bataille pour la couette, les pieds froids, les ronflements … Alors qu’en étant célibataire, tout est permis ! Retrouvez avec délectation la position de l’étoile de mer, faîtes la nem enroulée dans la grosse couette, et entrez et sortez du lit autant que vous voulez sans même faire attention au bruit. Pensez bien à ça les soirs où vous broyez du noir devant un film romantique ou lorsque la vue d’un couple vous donne de l’urticaire …

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7) Vous pouvez continuer à rêver

Et enfin dernier point positif du célibat (et non des moindres !) : le rêve du prince charmant, resté (presque) intact. Non seulement on est mieux seule que mal accompagnée, mais en plus vous avez tout le loisir de fantasmer comme bon vous semble sur quiconque vous tape dans l’œil sans être tiraillée par la culpabilité … c’est tentant quand même non ? Et si ce fameux prince existait vraiment ? Imaginez toutes les belles choses que vous feriez ensemble, les bons moments que vous partagerez, et attendez juste qu’il tombe du ciel  …

Non, ne pas être casée à votre âge n’est pas forcément une tare. Bien au contraire, le statut de célibataire peut faire bien des envieuses si vous ouvrez vos yeux tout bouffis et englués par les larmes de désespoir et que vous vous concentrez sur le bon côté des choses !

 

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